I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
