Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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