In the future we'll all be gay
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
