the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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