i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
