this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
