At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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