I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
