he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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