I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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