just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize