I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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