I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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