I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
