Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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