her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Do vagina's smell?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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