the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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