Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
