great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
even my farts smell like vagina
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
So here I am, sexting at work.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
