All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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