No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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