ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
