would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Randomize
