I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
