That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
