Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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