I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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