I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
