WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
