How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
