Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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