so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
