I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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