My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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