Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
