Sponge bath it is.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
