That's when you crack a 10am beer
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
this just has baby written all over it
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
