you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
