strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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