The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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