goodnight i made you a song goodbye
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Even my vagina gasped.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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