dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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