Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
