i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm like, not good at living.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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