Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize