the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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