"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
