The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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