Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
