if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
