At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
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the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
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I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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