Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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