i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
