I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
